Falling Out of Love

So the big plan for today was to try to revive my running passion....it totally didn't happen. I was talking to Skip wondering out loud what the hell was wrong with me anymore. Skip took Tate up to work with him and I had to drive to get V from his dads....so i headed out a 1.5 hours early...give or take...and decided it was going to be my longrun comeback. I brought my Mizunos...thinking that maybe all the barefooting was just making me lazy...and slow. So I got myself all psyched up to run 10 miles...and when that went awesome....planning something to get me back on track with my running...another marathon perhaps....or a faster half...or even my first 10K. I was actually excited....loving the thought of mindless running that comes when I put something on my feet.

I got to the highschool and parked my car....laced up....which was weird in itself...got my gear and headed out. I felt decent for approximately 1.5 miles. After that it was pretty much downhill. I took half a gel at 3.5...and when that did nothing to perk me up...took the rest at 4. Nothing helped. I ended up cutting the run short just shy of 8 miles with a slower pace then I run barefoot. I was actually shaking when I was done. I don't know what to do anymore....I hate running in shoes and am now just as slow as I am barefoot. I ran 26.2 miles only a couple of months ago and now I can't even run 8 freaking miles. I think I may need to just hang it up for a little while....because I've tried different things and nothing seems to help. I'm in turn...frustrated as hell...or just not giving a shit. Neither of these things work for me. The only thing I like to do is yoga...maybe I should just stick with that. Is it possible that I've fallen out of love with running? Can you do that? People fall out of love with each other...why not fall out of love with a certain type of exercise. I don't think it's lazy factor....because I'm not afraid of sweating and working hard. I don't know what the hell the deal is.

Ugg....onwords.

Updates

I forget sometimes how blessed I am.....and then I see something....or hear something...or even feel something.....and I remember.

For many months I had this Bethany Hamilton quote on the top of this blog.

"Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness,heart, talent, guts. That's what little girls are made of; the heck with sugar and spice."  ~Bethany Hamilton~

I never new anything about her...not even that she was a surfer...I just loved the quote. It was recently brought to my attention that the movie Soul Surfer was based on her life....and still I never rented it for the kids. Tonight Tate and I were at the grocery store and she was begging for a Redbox and I relented....and am so glad I did. There are so few movies these days that make you feel good....or make you think...or for shits sake actually gives you hope....but this was one of them. Anyways....although not fantastic acting....it was fantastic content. The boys loved it and I loved the message it was sending out. His ways are mysterious...and known only to him....I needed to see that for some reason last night....and maybe the boys did too

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Other Good Stuff

V-
Is running cross country. I really can't begin to explain how incredible this makes me feel. Football was such a wash last year...and when he was dragging his feet about going out this year we kinda pulled his football card....and gave him a new one for CC. I spoke at length with the coach today and told him a bit about V and he is very excited to meet him. I told him about V's running career and how he could really stand to have a whip cracked on his ass that wasn't being held by his mother. I'm one excited girl to see how this season plays out. Practice starts this Monday...booofreakinya.

My Running-
Is quiet, peaceful and just kind of there. I have no desire to train for anything...no passion right now...and that is ok. I have been thinking about doing a half this fall barefoot but I don't think my feet will be ready....and this doesn't bother me either. I figure that probably next year...if I can get my bare feet on the ground a little earlier in the year....I should be able to do a barefoot half the end of next summer. I can run 6 miles barefoot right now...and if I can find a minimal shoe that I can stomach...things will be good. I imagine my mileage will pick up when it cools off....I can not stand summer running. I can't say I exactly miss my drive to run....its very time consuming to constantly train and assess and demand so much of yourself....and I think that my mind may be giving my body the break it needs. Will I actually train for something again? Am I just over the run? I don't know....I kind of doubt it. I've been at Tae Bo for 13 years but every once in a while I'd take a unplanned break of about 6 months where I just goofed off. I think I over trained myself for my marathon....went almost directly in Lighthouse Run and finally my body just said fuck it and my mind went right along with it. I am now in wait and see mode.

My Eating-
I guess finishing my first full month of non-meateating puts me in the vegetarian category. Not vegan, I think the official name is lacto-octo-vegetarian...or something like that. I eat dairy and occasionally eggs. I feel amazing and my adjustment to this way of eating has gone completely smoothly for me. My family on the other hand....not so much. After being hassled by Skip for the umpteenth time I cornered Dr. Foster to get a medical standpoint on it to give Skip. Dr. F proceeded to print off a number of things from the medical association and went through highlighting things for Skip. Basically told me to make sure i was getting enough protein and to take care with my nutrients and it's all good. I brought home everything for Skip and he hasn't said boo since...HA! If it was only always that easy.
 
So that's it.....anyone have any good news?